Encouragement for Moms: When Your Child’s Disobedience Feels Personal
I’m so thankful for faith-filled women, like Sally Clarkson, who share an abundance of wisdom and experience with young mothers like myself. I highly suggest listening to her podcast, or Youtube channel if you haven’t already where she shares on all the things she has learned along her decades as a loving mother, homeschooler to four grown children, and a child of God! My soul is always put at ease when I listen to her gentle Spirit share daily recipes, book recommendations, and inspiration for mothers! Today I’m sharing some encouragement for moms inspired by one of her recent episodes found HERE. So go ahead, pour yourself a warm cup of tea (Sally would approve), find a quiet corner, and keep on reading! Feel free to pass this post along to another fellow mama who might need the reminder that she’s not alone in the beautiful, messy, holy work of motherhood. Enjoy!
Have you ever caught yourself feeling offended by your child’s disobedience? That moment when you think, Seriously?! How could they act like that? Don’t they know better by now? I’ve been there too! Even as loving, intentional mothers, it’s so easy to slip into a mindset of frustration and disbelief when our children miss the mark…again.
I recently listened to a message from Sally Clarkson that met me right in that graceless, tired space. She reminded me that motherhood was never meant to be walked out in our own strength, and that the grace of God is not only for us…it’s for our children, too! His mercy is fresh every morning, and yes, even after a meltdown-filled afternoon!
Here’s what I needed to come to terms with…
My children are going to mess up. Not just once. Not just occasionally. A lot. Honestly, that’s not something that should surprise me. Mistakes are how children learn. In all actuality…it’s how we all learn! However, somewhere along the way, it became easy to expect our little ones to act more like polished adults than growing humans. We seem to forget that even the most mature adults are still stumbling on their way toward holiness. So why are some of us so shocked when our children, tiny people with tender hearts and unformed habits, fall short?!
The hard, honest truth is that adults mess up, too!
Adults whine. Adults hurt others. Adults complain. Adults are prideful. Adults don’t listen. Adults cause strife. Adults yell. Adults say mean things. Adults fall into bad habits.
This isn’t a disobedience problem. It’s a sin problem! It’s a humanity problem! It’s the same struggle we all face, just in smaller bodies with fewer tools to cope, haha! This realization should shift our posture from harshness to compassion, and from offense to understanding as we take a deep breathe, and approach our children with softened hearts.
Does that mean we excuse sin then? NO. At the same time, we also can’t pretend like we, as parents, are above it. What our children need isn’t a perfect parent…they need a present, and humble one. It’s not enough to daily talk about our Savior. We must reflect Him in the way we respond, in the tone we use, in the grace we give, and in the loving accountability we offer. Let’s be the kind of moms who are honest about our own need for grace, and then freely pour that same grace over our children! Let’s equip them with tools to recognize sin, to repent, and walk in light, (not by fear, but by faith).
The quicker we accept that failure is a part of the journey, the quicker we can actually be ready to respond well when it happens. We can stop reacting with shock or disappointment, and instead meet our children with steady, grace-filled presence…because we knew it was coming, and we were prepared to catch them! In those messy, imperfect moments, our children need to know that they are still deeply loved and forgiven as we point them to repentance, and back on the path of righteousness. As followers of Yeshua/Jesus, isn’t this exactly the kind of love we’ve received? If the God of the universe can forgive me, again and again, through His perfect Son, Yeshua as I aim to walk in His righteousness, then how can I not extend that same grace to my children in their own moments of need?
Loving our children like Yeshua means showing up in their hardest moments with gentleness, correction, and unwavering love. It means disciplining in love, not out of anger. (The Bible says even God disciplines those He loves.) It’s not about being perfect, but leading them towards the One who is!
I recently wrote a blog post on “How to Become a More Gentle Mother,” HERE and “Verses on Becoming a More Gentle Mother” HERE. I’ve long believed that we become like the ones we spend the most time with. So, it makes perfect sense that time spent in His presence, and in His Word, will shape our hearts and renew our minds. The more we sit with Yeshua/Jesus, the more we start to reflect Him!
Mamas, WE are the gardeners—and our children are the seeds.
Anyone who’s ever tended a garden knows there’s no such thing as an overnight harvest. Growth takes time. It takes consistency. It takes care. Seeds need good soil, daily watering, pruning, and protection from the pests that threaten their tender beginnings.
If we skip days of nurturing...if we stop showing up with presence and prayer…if we don’t address the little weeds before they spread, we risk seeing our precious garden wither from neglect. When we remain faithful in the little things, providing light, truth, correction, grace, and love, day in and day out, we can trust that a harvest will come, and it will be beautiful and soul-satisfying!
Motherhood, like gardening, is a long game.
Remember, what we sow today matters tomorrow. When the hard days come…not if—but when—we may feel weary. We may wonder if it’s even working?! In those moments, don’t step away from the garden! Dig deeper. Trust the process. Stay faithful to the calling. Keep praying over their hearts and your own.
The truth is, it’s not just about the kids growing. It’s about us being transformed, too. Little by little, moment by moment, we’re being made more like Yeshua, as we love, serve, and tend to these precious lives. The best part is we don’t have to do it alone!!! In our weakness, HE is strong. In our lack of energy, HE is sufficient. The garden doesn’t grow because we’re perfect…it grows because HE is faithful!!
So keep planting! Keep watering! Keep believing! The harvest is coming, and it will be worth every tear, prayer, and sleepless night!
I hope this word of encouragement can spark a fire in your hearts to draw you closer to your Heavenly Father during this season of motherhood, (Who by the way tells us He will, in response, draw closer too)! In this way, we will become more compassionate, understanding, and determined to continue nurturing our children through the highs and lows of this long, but very rewarding motherhood game.” Blessings to you all!
